reality check of a northerner

things you cannot do in minnesota in december:

run your airconditioner because the temperature outside is around 75 degrees and inside your apartment it is hovering around 82 degrees.

go for a long afternoon walk in shorts and a t-shirt and still break a sweat from the warm sunshine.

wear an double extra large wife beater as a dress and lounge around on your open-air porch and be perfectly comfortable drinking ice water.



things you cannot do in texas in december:

loft well packed snowballs at the heads of your friends.

pull off the layered j.crew look without passing out from heat stroke.

truely appreciate hot chocolate on a sunday afternoon after shoveling the walk.



it is a toss up. it really is.

return of saturn

gwen stefani of the band no doubt wrote an entire album dedicated to a time of life -- the mid to late twenties -- when saturn returns to its original place when we were born. it takes about 29 years for saturn to revolve around the sun. it is common for individuals in their 26 - 30 years of life to experience an overwhelming emotional overhauling with life.

this exerpt is taken from an astrology website:

Saturn's return is your time of freedom, because it's your time of becoming an adult. You may find yourself doing this rather naturally. It's a natural time to make decisions. You may find yourself shopping for Ph.D. schools or seeking a real partner or getting out of your bullshit menial job, and find something you look forward to doing every day. If Saturn is present in your life, then this is a time of hard work, of learning focus, and working constructively within limitations. You may discover that everything that held back your maturity is falling apart, which will ultimately leave you free to live your life in a way that works for you and for the culture of which you are, without a doubt, a working part of, and a necessary part of, if only because you are alive.

this holds true for me at this point in my life for sure. i have been immersed in an overwhelming internal battle with what to do, where to go, how to live, etc. it is such a crazy time of life, floundering around, feeling as though my life is well underway, but waiting for something to actually happen. what is it that i am looking for? perhaps just peace of mind, self acceptance.

this is the first time in my life that i don't feel like i am reaching for anything to bring me comfort, to make me feel whole. i feel stable and independent, almost to a fault. i have become selfish with my life and my time. i would rather spend time alone, doing exactly what it is that i want to do, rather than compromise with another and half-heartedly enjoy myself. it could get lonely at some point, and perhaps at that point i will become more willing to share and go outside these boundaries. but for now, it is nice -- i like this leah-time.

as saturn approaches its original place when i was born, i will nurture the selfishness but also force myself outside the lines to avoid complete isolation. i am inherently a social butterfly -- i get it from my mom. but for now, i am in metamorphosis and need to stay in my chrysalis until i am ready to emerge and spread my butterfly wings.