ramblings of fear

melancholy seeps into my bones like tea, tainting my soul with a subtle but deep ache.

it comes like waves preceding a hurricane: each one is larger and more intense.

i should flee, hed the proper precautions to protect myself.

but how does one escape themselves, their own emotional tides?

perhaps this is what i must remember, the tide ebbs and flows with the phases of the moon.

where is the moon these days?

it many have a lot to do with my momentary place and position in the emotional realm.

i search my soul for what i want, what i need.

i cannot identify this thing.

i am filled with fear and self-doubt and insecurity that grows and crowds out ambition.

my goals seeming silly and unattainable, so i retreat.

i cling to that which i excel and thrive, that which i am safe within.

i must push myself out into the abyss of chance and hope and believe that my fate is waiting there for me.